A Beloved Union

Step One: Find you soul mate.  "You sure do have a perty mouth"

Step Two:  Get them to agree to marry you.  "Does this smell like chloroform* to you?"

Step Three:  Find the perfect place. "But we can get our shopping done at the same time..." 

Step Four:  Only invite half of your guest list!!  "My easy sister is definitely not invited."

Step Five:  Call A Beloved Union for your officiation needs!  "We can help you!"

*A Beloved Union in no way endorses the use of chloroform except between consenting adults..